This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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