strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Your cock deserves a montage
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
