she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
