we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
