That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
