Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
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