my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
