I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I've blown a few things in my day
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
