I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Two words: blizzard sex
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