You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Of course I have a pirate flag
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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