Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
