he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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