Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
