I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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