rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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