White coat. Heels.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
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