Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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