Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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