ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
