New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
