If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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