I got chris browned last night
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
