I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
