ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
