when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
