i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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