is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
