I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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