dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Randomize
