I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Drake has all the answers
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
