He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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