Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I love having hate sex.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
