Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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