I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
