Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
