so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
