i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
