And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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