Duck Duck Cougar?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
