every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
this boner is exhausting
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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