Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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