Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
