Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
