Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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