Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
