Actions speak louder than pants.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
