brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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