What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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