We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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