so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
