She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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