My first STD was from a foam party
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
