I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
