Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I DEMAND FORESKIN
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
