he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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