Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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