Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
