Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
