Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You are a genius and a whore.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
